I am not Racist!

It's funny because this whole time I thought I was.

I had a discussion about race with a friend this morning which prompted me to look into the subject more. I looked up the definition of racism on Google and here's how they define it:

prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.

Using that definition, I cannot be racist. That is because I do not view my race as superior to that of anyone else's. Now, first of all, I have to define myself as white which I typically don't like to do. I'm sure for black people it is much the same. Why call yourself black?

But that's a digression.

The problem is that from a young age, I have been told that there is institutionalized racism which is basically the idea that while white European settlers and then American citizens once enslaved people from Africa, and that is no longer the case, oppressive practices style exist in the institutions of this predominantly white country. So if that's true and there is a problem here, which I thought there was and still think there is, who is to blame for the problem?

I am now 32 and have been looking into this issue for a long time now. It isn't a cut and dry problem.

First of all, there is this idea of governance. We have a government which means we have allowed people to make laws and we can expect people in our society to follow the law to avoid certain negative consequences. It makes sense to do this so long as those laws are helping to create a better society.

For the sake of clarity, let's put this ideas in its proper context in association with institutionalized racism. On the one hand, it is good to create laws when they are meant to better the lives of the people in a society. On the other hand, there is oppression in society when a group of people with delusions of superiority seek to dominate another group.

I thought that somehow, I was a member of the group of people who believed themselves superior.

But the fact is that...

I HAVE NEVER FUCKING BELIEVED THAT.

I can't believe I'm saying that. It is such a huge relief. I have never believed that I am superior. I never knew, until now, what accounted for my bitterness when it comes to this issue of race and racism.

But, in simple terms, here it is:

It has been imposed upon me that, by virtue of the color of my skin, the culture I was raised in, and the people with whom I spend the most time, that I am a racist person.

That is a very difficult imposition for anyone. It is one I have attempted to labor under for the duration of my life.

But it's not true. I have looked deeply into this issue to see if there is evidence in my own feelings that I am somehow superior. But I just can't find it.

I will tell you what I have found. I have found cultural differences and differences in ability and interest between races. For example, if a black man can rap and I can't but I can use the English language with exquisite grammar and they can't, that doesn't prove superiority. It proves difference in interest and ability. The fact is that you will get good at what you like doing. If you like to play basketball, you will get good at it. I never liked basketball so I never pursued it. But if I liked it, I am sure I would get good at it.

I don't know what else to say. I may edit this post at some point in the future because there is so much to say. I need to be liberated from the oppression that, like a mind virus, was installed on me.

I don't like unhappiness. I don't like pain. I don't want my fellow humans, whom I believe to be my brothers and sisters under a loving Creator, to be oppressed. I want to stop oppression. But right now what's beautiful is the fact that I can lift off this veil on my head that has held me back my whole life.

I am not Racist!