The Journal of Theo

Ever since my sister Samana went vegan, I had major questions about the diet and lifestyle. I always had a vague idea of the way we were treating animals but chose to believe that there was something virtuous about it. The religion I was raised in made it more difficult. They taught that animals wanted to be eaten - even if they ran from you. When I was in college, a young woman was passing out pamphlets on the corner. I didn’t want to take it but did anyway, and asked some questions about the graphic images that were shown. Later on, in spite of myself, I actually looked at some of the images of animal agriculture. As time went on, I learned that the horrible way our animal friends were raised, housed, and ultimately slaughtered was not an exceptional practice. It was standard the world over. This was some years ago in my early 20s. I had a clear choice. Although I was getting greater exposure to the suffering of animals and the health benefits of a vegan diet through documentarie...

The following is a story I wrote after returning from a strip joint and thinking of a friend who has a major deformity. It was written in a flash like most of my short stories are. Now I know that typically indicates a spirit is taking over the pen. I have agonized over this story. I love it but feel that it's so imperfect and probably can't help people too much. But it really meant something to me. I used to cry just thinking about the ending. Now I get creeped out by it and feel shame. My mind is crowded by constructive criticism from my mother and a former girfriend and my own belief that I can't get anything right. A friend recently asked to see one of my stories. I was going to try to edit the last line of this one and print it out to show her. Now, this crushing feeling of shame for being a failure is stopping me. Improving this story would probably require more of a time investment than I care to give it now. It needs a fine-toothed comb. Perhaps in the futur...