In my experience, the ultimate goal of most Christians is to proselytize. I have had many interactions with Christians who eventually will ask me whether I believe that Jesus is my personal savior. I know I'm not alone in this. It is a tenet of the faith of most modern Christians. I don't say that blithely. I have been intensely interested in religion for most of my life, live in a country with many Christians, grew up in a faith that critiqued Christianity, and spent a lot of time researching Christianity. I therefore feel I can comfortably say that.
Now everyone has their own bias. Most people typically have an interest in arguing a certain viewpoint in order to convince other people. I would say that that desire can be unloving. I will give 2 reasons for that.
The first is to gain solidarity. You want other people to believe the same thing you do so that you can feel more secure in your beliefs. That won't necessarily grant security, but you believe that.
The second is that you are blocked to the interest of others.
About that second one, let me say the following. Ever since hearing the Divine Truth teachings, I have gained an awareness about the importance of desire. I have always known there is something to this unique quality in human beings. Even in the case of our Heavenly Parent, the notion that we were created from a desire our Parent had was instilled at an early age. But the Divine Truth teachings expanded my understanding of the importance of this quality. I have, since then, attempted to be more respectful of the desires of other people. I have noticed the many clues people give, not just in their speech but also in their body language - showing interest, feigning interest, or losing interest in a topic of conversation. When I work with people's desires, I feel much better about my conversations with them. But many forceful Christians will proselytize without caring about someone's personal desires.
When is it ok to attempt to convince someone of something? Probably when you know the truth, have love for them, and you notice they are interested in learning more truth.
It is hard for someone who is wrapped up in their worldview to understand what they're doing is harmful. Christians who strongly believe they are helping to save others by spreading what they believe is the gospel, are actually harming people. They are closed to the truth, teaching falsehood, being forceful and unloving, and throwing away the opportunity to get to know someone.
I have many examples from my personal life that I can offer. I've visited many churches and have had many interactions with Christians in all sorts of situations. I don't want to make this post too long so I will avoid sharing them. But perhaps I have sparked memories you have had in your own life that will clarify my points.
A world full of proselytizers
By now it may have become clear that what I'm talking about is not limited to Christians. Anyone can forcefully try to convince someone of something and do it in a harmful manner.
As an example, I was sharing some difficulties I had in my own life once and a family member said, "Shit happens." That meant that, when you are triggered by an event in your life, do your best not to think or worry about it because it's a normal part of life. Those two words was that family member's attempt to convince me of something.
You can have a boss, a colleague, a friend, a family member, or someone you meet in your daily life say something seemingly ordinary but who could be attempting to convince you of something that has no basis in truth.
Seek the truth
How can we change for the better? Remembering to seek truth is so important. Truth has the quality of affecting every part of our life because it changes how we see the world. In the Divine Truth teachings, AJ and Mary even suggest that who we are actually changes with the reception of truth because of how the soul works. But anyone can attest to how their life improves when they learn something new. If we determine to keep seeking truth even in the face of adversity, we can continue to improve our lives and also become people that have a more loving impact on our brothers and sisters. It doesn't feel good to harm people. That can be a guide for us.
I'm sorry but I just want to emphasize that last point. The very fact that we feel bad about something is a gift in a certain sense. By feeling badly, we now have an impetus to change... if we want to.
The knowledge and acceptance of truth will help us in our interactions with others and more people will have the opportunity to enjoy changes in their life by having access to that truth.
Tell the truth of how you are feeling
The other thing that I find important in this dynamic is being willing to tell the truth. When I am with a Christian who is attempting to proselytize to me, I will vocally tell them that I am not interested in what they are saying. I often wish that they could sense that before I say that, but, unfortunately many simply cannot. I believe it is an act of love to tell someone how you feel so that they have the option to change their approach. If you don't, you are acquiescing to the damage they want to inflict.
Letting someone talk
Sometimes it is good to let someone talk and talk and talk. This can be a cathartic process where the person can "air all their dirty laundry." When they actually have the opportunity to express everything they believe, such as with Freud's method of free association, they can begin to see flaws in their own logic and begin to change. However, I don't believe this works when the individual is actively trying to convince YOU. That is because their desire is not to develop themselves but to engage an addiction. I will say, however, that I'm not sure about this. I will have to develop further in the knowledge of truth before I can tell you for sure. That is because I also believe that people who are highly developed in love may be able to engage with such people and still help them.
For me, however, verbalizing my lack of interest with someone actively attempting to proselytize to me, has been the best course of action. Sometimes it is necessary to completely disengage from someone if they will not take your "no" for an answer.
This will help the person in their addiction because it is always better to not give in to the demands of someone who is in an addiction. I don't mean to say that you don't have to love them and give them the benefit of your time, attention, or assistance. But if they abuse those things, then you must remove yourself from them.
I'll share one quick example that was both triggering and interesting to elucidate my last point. I was at a bus stop one night waiting for my bus to arrive. A man came up to me and asked me for some money. I asked him what for. He said for alcohol. I told him I would prefer not to give him money for such a thing. He told me that I don't understand - he is an alcoholic and must periodically use alcohol or he will begin to shake and experience violent convulsions. I told him that those were withdrawal symptoms and if he allowed himself to shake, he would eventually get through the withdrawal. He refused to believe me and attempted to convince me I was wrong. I registered my disagreement and he moved on.
There are many lessons I had from that experience. One is that it can be a great thing to engage with people that want an addiction met as long as you stay in truth. He may not agree with me now, but he may change his mind down the road. Also, it was clear to me that someone in a position of authority like a psychologist must have told him that a little alcohol now and then is ok if it succeeds in helping him avoid his withdrawal symptoms. I'm sure that person who told him that found his shaking frightening and accepted the false belief that it's sometimes better to avoid withdrawal than go through it. Finally, my own doubts in the Divine Truth teachings were exposed because I myself wondered if he was right. After all, I avoid my own fear with all my might!
Conclusion
I must find a way to end this long blog post. I may go back and edit it down or provide headings for the different sections. Originally, I intended to write a short post but it turned out quite long. I'm sorry if it did not hold your interest.
I will conclude by saying that I find the proselytizing influence of many Christians as well as anyone who wants to try to force me to believe something a very unenjoyable process. Rather than being attracted to such people, I find myself repelled by them. I used to visit different Christian churches to see if I could gain a spiritual insight or meet someone or help someone. But I must admit that I find fewer reasons to do so as time goes by.
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