I have spent years trying to lose weight. About 32 years to be exact as I’m 38 now and started plumping up significantly when I was 6.
I always tried to follow what I heard - "Stop eating so much." I’ve counted calories, made dozens of diet plans, tried them all, thought intensely thousands and thousands of times on what I could do to change my habits, and, in the end, I always returned to overeating and junk food.
Usually what I’ll do is make a plan that is in the form of a list like this:
-1 sweet every other day
-eat vegetables with every meal
-forgo dairy
-etc.
And I try it for a day or two. Then I make a mistake, punish myself severely in my mind, then go and binge on food again.
Recently, I’ve tried something different. Instead of watching what I eat or making a plan, I’ve been praying for help with my desire to punish myself. I usually think I’m a terrible person with no self-control or discipline and say several very unkind things to myself internally. I’ll look at all the bad behavior I have had in my life and be hard on myself all the more.
It’s taken me a few years but I feel like I’m finally somewhere new.
Five days ago I started eating better. I didn’t plan it. I told God things I wanted to do but didn’t force myself to do them. Things like eating more fruit and having 2 meals a day. Well, one day after another has gone by and I have had temptations but I haven’t gone back to my normal eating habits.
In addition to this, I’ve spent more time just feeling my fear. It’s not always fun and the progress seems slow. But every now and again, I seem to knock another chunk out of that concrete wall of fear.
I always tried to follow what I heard - "Stop eating so much." I’ve counted calories, made dozens of diet plans, tried them all, thought intensely thousands and thousands of times on what I could do to change my habits, and, in the end, I always returned to overeating and junk food.
Usually what I’ll do is make a plan that is in the form of a list like this:
-1 sweet every other day
-eat vegetables with every meal
-forgo dairy
-etc.
And I try it for a day or two. Then I make a mistake, punish myself severely in my mind, then go and binge on food again.
Recently, I’ve tried something different. Instead of watching what I eat or making a plan, I’ve been praying for help with my desire to punish myself. I usually think I’m a terrible person with no self-control or discipline and say several very unkind things to myself internally. I’ll look at all the bad behavior I have had in my life and be hard on myself all the more.
It’s taken me a few years but I feel like I’m finally somewhere new.
Five days ago I started eating better. I didn’t plan it. I told God things I wanted to do but didn’t force myself to do them. Things like eating more fruit and having 2 meals a day. Well, one day after another has gone by and I have had temptations but I haven’t gone back to my normal eating habits.
In addition to this, I’ve spent more time just feeling my fear. It’s not always fun and the progress seems slow. But every now and again, I seem to knock another chunk out of that concrete wall of fear.
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