Last night in bed, feeling tired enough that I was sure I would fall asleep, I placed my phone on the small pile of 2 books next to my bed side. I wasn't asleep yet so I thought of some ways I could get to sleep without having to think about any pain I feel. I settled on the tool I often use but hadn't in a while: fantasizing about having money. I have used this fantasy so many times in place of counting sheep. This time, however, I had trouble. I will sometimes start with: "What if I had $20,000? What would I do with it?" Then I'll go to: "What about a million dollars?" Then I'll sometimes end up with: "What if I never had to worry about money and always had enough to do whatever I wanted to do at that moment?" This time was different. I thought of how I would get that money. Who would give it to me? I have never been able to conjure up money or teleport it from one place to another. That means that I would have to receiv...